Sunday, January 9, 2011

It is going to fast....

I usually try to savor every moment. Even though I am totally guilty of always being in a hurry, always rushing from one commitment to the next; I am usually proud of how I conciously appreciate every special milestone and moment with Jack.
This one slipped up on me. Hit me like a ton of bricks. I never even saw it coming...oh it was there. It has been right in my face for the past week, but I have been too sleep deprived with a nightmare stricken little boy, a full time job, a mural and an etsy shop that is apparently doing wholesale orders, that I just did not appreciate what was happening.
The crib is gone. I mean....the crib got converted to a toddler bed a few days ago, but that just didn't cut it either. Ever since Jack had the first nightmare last Saturday night, he has slept either in our bed or in the guest bed. He was terrified of his bed. The dream had his bed in it somehow. There was a tractor coming after him or something. SOOOO, sometimes he would even walk by his bedroom and shut the door as if the sight of the ROOM scared him.
Well today, Dan and I bit the bullet and bought a twin bed. I took Jack to help me pick out the bedding. Jack helped me wash the bedding. He helped us make the bed. He is asleep in the bed.
It was not until the bed was made and I stood back and looked at his little room that it hit me and the lump in my throat and the tightness in my chest was like something I have not felt since mom was sick.
I cried. I cried because my little baby is surely a little boy if he is sleeping in a big boy bed. I cried because I have been so busy...I am afraid I have missed something else that I JUST DID NOT NOTICE. I cried because I am exhausted.
Well...tomorrow is another day. A special day in which I anticipate I will be granted a snow day off work. I plan to make snowmen and drink hot cocoa and watch movies and snuggle as much as possible!

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