Thursday, September 2, 2010

When Your Best Does Not Feel Good Enough

Do you ever just feel a little down? I am not looking for a pity party or anything, but I just cannot seem to get my spirits up lately. Everytime I feel like I am on the upward swing, something seems to come at me and knock me down. The spiral just keeps heading down, down, down....
I can't get Jack up early enough in the morning to get out the door in time (yes I know, I should be happy that he is not getting up at 4:30 anymore)
Once we get out the door and get to Mrs. Kim's I have a major mess of Pop Tart to clean up since that is the lovely breakfast that I have time to give him so that he can whoof it down in the car.
Once we arrive at Mrs. Kim's ,the clinging starts...the begging for mommy to play, the legs wrapped around me, the not putting his feet down when I try to sit him on the floor.
THEN, when Mrs Kim lures him away, he hears the screeen door and runs back to me crying and my hearts RIPS IN HALF as I turn my back on him and close the door.
After a few minutes in the car, my frustrations turn from guilty momma to road rage as I realize I am YET AGAIN going to be late for work.
Once I arrive at work, I am greeted by some emails about how things are not looking as good as expected once they install and how our design center hours simply are not accomodating enough.
The day goes on like that with a few ridiculously nice people sprinkled in (we really do have some FABULOUS clients:) Pick a few colors for some exteriors, do some quotes for blinds and shutters, put together some selections for some market homes and before I know it, it is almost 5 o'clock.
A quick call to the hubs confirms what I knew before I even picked up the phone...he has to work late, can I go pick up Jack?
So, off to Kim's I go- as fast as I can because I will not make her 5:30 deadline if I am not flying!
I arrive to a very content, sweaty, sweet little boy who would REALLY rather not leave the excitement of Mrs Kim's backyard. So, on the opposite note from the morning, I am begging him to come HOME with mommy (sometimes bribing him with french fries for dinner).
Once we arrive home about 6:15 I begin plotting something for dinner. Bath time is at 7pm if we want to catch Caillou so I have to act fast. This usually leads to something thrown together that I feel just about as guilty about as a Pop Tart, but hey, at least he is not starving, right?
Once dinner is eaten and kitchen is semi- cleaned, it is off to the tub for Jack. He is pretty good about playing in the tub with the exeption of not wanting to lean back to get his hair rinsed lately. Then, if you are paying attention, you have probably already guessed it, Jack does not WANT to get OUT of the tub, so I have to drag him dripping to his room as he kicks and cries while trying to dry him off.
This is usually about the time Dan arrives home.
Diapered lotioned and jammy-ied up, Jack's current routine is getting into Mommy and Daddy's bed and watching Caillou.
Once Caillou is over, he says "night night" and I put him in bed. He is pretty good to go straight to sleep.
Usually I try to put a load of laundry in the washer at this point, but only when I am feeling really energetic because quite frankly, at this point, I am pooped and I don't plan to wait to get it in the dryer!
This is where my 8:30 or 9 o'clock bedtime comes in and I will not even try to deny it!
This is a typical day...sometimes Jack's bed is wet when he gets up, or jack poops in the tub at bath time, or one of the dogs dislocates his just never know what might come up to throw our well oiled machine off course....
wait a minute...I am talking about all this as if it is a BAD thing...but hey
We woke up
We had a pop tart in the pantry and milk in the fridge
We had a car to drive to Mrs. Kim's
We HAVE MRS. KIM who is the best caretaker EVER!
I have a job
Dan gets paid by the hour right now so long hours...I TRY NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT!
We have a wonderful house that we call home
We have food in our pantry that I can throw together for dinner
We share a few quiet minutes together as a family even if it is watching Caillou
I have a warm clean bed to sleep in
If I am REALLY lucky, we will all wake up and do it all over again!
OK-I think I just got the attitude adjustment that I needed:)
if you are still reading- thanks for sticking that one out with me- painful, I KNOW!

1 comment:

Rayna said...

love you, love you, LOVE you!! Friday night dinner again??!!!